Hi Friends

 I am having serious issues with California and the weather here. It is October 2nd, Fall officially began on September 21st. I should have enjoyed approximately 10 days of fall weather, snuggly sweaters, and a warm psl respectively. But no, instead I am sweating away in my summer dresses and cursing at the sun. I am not happy with this and here is why,

First, I have purchased three new sweaters and two pairs of chinos, and at the current rate they will never see the world outside my bedroom. How is that fair not only to me, but to my bank account and credit card balance. I also want to wallow in self pity and cannot do that if I am unable to wear the dark clothes I have designated for cold weather. But mostly, because I do not want to see another boy/teen/young man in a bro tank, please. Why don’t they have to shave their armpits? and why do I have to look at them?

Secondly, as many of you californians and others know we are in a serious drought. The amount of moisturizer I have had to invest in this summer is ridiculous, my skin needs a break, here me out sun. With a little bit of rain and a few clouds, the trees will get what they need and so will I.

Thirdly, it is not right to have a warm bowl of pumpkin soup when it is 80 degrees outside. You know what happens when you have soup and its over 80? You sweat, on the inside and on the outside. Its gross and horrible. I cannot watch Halloweentown because it does not get dark until 8pm, WHAT IS SPOOKY ABOUT THAT SUN?! The heat has to go.

Lastly, it is time. I have been quiet for long enough. Just because I live in California does not mean I do not deserve the fall everyone is raving about already. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never see the leaves change colors here, and the chances of it snowing in the San Fernando Valley are slim to none. But I am not asking for a lot here, maybe some fog, a day where I don’t sweat from walking from class to the parking lot.  Sun, you have done your time here, and deserve a break. My fuzzy socks and hot cocoa mix are waiting for me, unloved and unused

If I have to drink another iced pumpkin spice latte I may self combust, so be a pal and help a sister out.

Your Bitter Friend,